REBIRTH - RE-IMAGINED

Woah.

Could it be?

A new POST?

Yep.

Alrighty, now it’s been a while. It feels like i’ve entered an entirely new life since I last published something. Truthfully, It’s been a series of “firsts” this last couple of weeks alone and I am grateful for every new challenge and opportunity I’ve been given by the Universe. But I certainly didn’t feel this way the whole time…

I wanted to brush upon a lesson that took me pretty much until this morning to truly grasp; ready?

Whatever you don’t change, you choose.

Let that sink in. I mean truly sink in.

When I first heard this it hit me in the face like a wet piece of paper. No matter how hard I yanked that baby, no go. It started to creep up every time I made a decision I inherently knew wasn't in my best interest. I was stuck.

I got away with ignoring it for a while. In fact, I got so good at moving against it, I begun to over indulge in almost everything; food, shopping, my relationship, you name it.

Anyways, this has been going on since around mid-October so It’s been a long time to say the least. For anyone who practices mindfulness or any form of deep connection with themselves, life has a way of catching up.

I hated myself, guys. Not because these things were happening, but that I KNEW I was choosing it for myself. What could I do? I was too afraid to move forward, but I was too emotionally intelligent to blame anyone or anything else for it. I even tried to forsake everything I knew to blame anything else and carry on self-sabotaging. But I had a truth to face, whether I liked it or not.

Fast-forward to about a week ago, I took a risk. It wasn’t a magical epiphany or anything ‘Disney-esque’ like that. I didn’t feel ready, but I felt so over where I was. I was convinced that nothing could be worse, so I took the leap. Like a mental line of dominos, everything started to fall into place. I started with the gym. It was one of my biggest hurdles, but if I could just grasp the energy I needed to do what I needed to do, I hoped I would get there. I honestly couldn’t believe how quickly my life turned around.

I started with one day of cardio. Nothing big, or fancy. I was still too insecure to touch the machines. I kept telling myself “This is better than where I was” and in choosing to do something about it, that would be enough. It wasn’t about losing the weight, or doing it ‘right’. It was about wanting to feel better. Intentions, intentions, intentions. 

It’s a week later, I’ve just completed my first full upper day on the machines, and I feel miles away from the darkness that I thought I would never escape; over one choice… one step.

The rest fell in like I said, I managed a work day, gym day, and time to write this out. Even one of those things would have put me in bed for the whole day a couple weeks ago.

I’m not suggesting that the gym is the answer for everyone but I challenge you to ask yourself….

- What am I choosing that needs changing?

AND

- What small step can I make today to move towards the change I want to see.

Then start with the simple intention that you. Deserve. To. Feel. Better.

I believe in you!!

Peace, love, and gratitude,

Jackie Marie xoxo