Progress that Lasts

Hello friends!

I hope this post finds you when you need it and not a second later! The best messages often do. Thank you Universe!

I was reflecting on my week, at my campus Starbucks, which I often do on Monday afternoons. Sort of a ritual for me nowadays while working, and taking classes full time. So I oder my usual coffee, and usual crossaint, and I sit down to start writing. But the words… don’t feel like they’re mine.

Now here I am, in my headspace, knowing full well that I had a very eventful week - and I mean eventful - and it feels so foreign to me.

So why?

At first, I try to push through it. I spent the better part of a half hour writing nonsense that sounded like I was trying to convince someone else of my personal success. This is my personal journal, and I’m writing it as if I were going to hand it off to a job opportunity with the words “please love me” imprinted on the cover. Naturally, I deleted it.

This time, I took a long sip of my coffee and stared at this empty screen full of doubt and anxiety, questions racing through my mind.

Were they actually accomplishments?

Why did I aim to achieve these things?

Am I wasting my energy?

Am I even connected to my energy?

And then I did what a lot of us do when things get this hard: I pushed it aside. But after a few moments of ‘doom scrolling’, I felt that doubt and anxiety creeping at the back of my mind. Instantly, I knew that it was going to be a long day if I didn’t face this.

So back to the empty page I went.

I started with exploring those questions I had asked earlier. I hadn’t written down half an answer to the first one, when I realized what I had done; I hadn’t even acknowledged the habits I’d created this week to have allowed me to accomplish the things I got done. Boom.

As you can imagine, at this point, the words started flowing. I went on about my energetic shift, and how I was pulling cards again, and drinking water consistantly. How I was regularly coming to the meditation pillow, and getting up on time for prior engagements. After getting all of my thoughts out, I started on a written adventure of what I had just experienced. I realized that the power I had found this week did not revolve around the things I did, but how I carried myself while doing them.

I wasn’t just showing up to work, I was arriving energized, and mentally prepared for the challenges the day would present.

I wasn’t just showing up the gym for the first time in a long time, I was showing up to feel engaged, and strong.

I wasn’t just showing up to the yoga mat to hit a time stamp, I was exploring and teaching myself to take up space.

So, what I take from all of this, and I hope you do as well if this shoudl resonate with you is that if you want change that lasts, and what which creates true fulfillment, loading up your to do list is not the place to start. You can cross a million things off your list, but if you show up to those things time and time again depleted and disconnected, it’ll never truly fulfill you.

Find a practice that excites you! Find a ritual or routine that makes you want to show up to everything you do. My coffee and crossiant combo make me want to write. My Gabby Bernstein podcast on the way to work makes me want to do my best. My Pitch Perfect soundtrack makes me want to run faster at the gym and whip my ponytail back and forth while I do it. (yes, for real).

Find those things that motivate you for longer than an instant, and make them yours. You have the power to achieve all that you desire. But how you get there, is entirely up to you, my love.

Now go be great!

Xoxo Jackie Marie