"NEXT TIME" - A SHORT STORY

She watched his face light up as he zoomed around corners in his new Mazda 3. She’d been happier than she should have been with her raging car anxiety, but seeing his smile relieved her worries. It had been a long couple of weeks for them both. He had been jumping emotion to emotion as his foot injury started to resurface issues on the daily. He was worried about everything, and she only knew the half of it that he cared to share. She wanted to believe he did it to protect her, but she couldn’t ignore the wall it put between them instead.

Even as they flew down the street, the both of them smiling, she could feel it. He was happy about the car but it wasn’t enough. She’d learned a lot about him in the year since they’d first met, but that was a double edged sword. Sometimes she felt that he knew that as well, and did his best to hide even more so because of it.

After his cravings were satisfied, they came up on the entrance to their apartment complex. She stared at the sign and felt the usual pang in her chest. She didn’t hate coming home, but it wasn’t her favorite place either.

She glanced over at him, as he was playing with some of the features on the touch screen, and then turned back to hang out the window on the last moments of their drive together. She looked around at all the houses annoyed by their familiarity. It was the same thing every day. She hated living like that. It was all she ever knew growing up. It wasn’t until she left her father’s house, and moved to Vernon with her mother that she realized she wanted more out of life. But even then, having already gotten what she wished for, it wasn’t enough. It might have been the only real thing she had in common with him. They were both bored and beaten by life, waiting for the next thing to come along. She sighed, hoping the wind against her face would take her worry away. She looked around her, for something to captivate her; inspire her maybe. And then she looked up.

When she first saw it, she couldn’t believe she’d almost missed it. A beautiful blanket of bright stars stretched over her. She couldn’t help but smile in awe. She remembered back to when she was still living at her father’s. She had a balcony attached to her bedroom, and made it a habit to lie outside and look at stars whenever she needed it. It was one of the many things she forgot to appreciate until it was gone. Sitting there, leaning out the window, eyes at the sky, she suddenly felt like she never lost it at all.

“Do you see the big dipper?” she heard behind her. She whipped around to find him looking up as well through the moon roof. She smiled, feeling the wall between them chip at the surface. She leaned over to him to get a better view as to where he was pointing.

“I see it.” She pointed right along with him. They both smiled, and she returned to her window. It was only a moment, but she had to learn to appreciate them nonetheless. They didn’t happen as often as she hoped. They passed her house first, and pulled in front of his. Somehow she knew she wasn’t ready to get out. Getting out meant facing reality, and there was never any getting out of that.

“We should go look at stars somewhere.” It took her all the strength in the world to say it. She was used to his answer being no because of whatever reason, so she didn’t like to get her hopes up.

“I mean i’m tempted…” her shoulders lifted with the rest of her being. “But i’m tired,” he wined right on cue. Her shoulders dropped again, but this time he took notice. They sat in silence for a moment. She could hear him sigh under his breath cueing her back to let him know it was okay to disappoint her. This time was different. She not only wanted to do something fun, but she needed it. After a few more moments of silence, he spoke again.

“I guess we can go… but it’s going to be a quick ride.” She smiled, and before they knew it they were off. She hung her head out the window as if a cross between an excited child, and an excited dog. He was finally going to enjoy something she enjoyed. They were finally going to be more than the boredom.

He pulled off the highway into the deep and dark streets of Coventry. The more stars she saw, the more excited it made her. They drove for a while as he still wanted to test some of the features in his car, including a sports mode that made the car feel like Speed Racer. Still, she felt no anxiety. She was too excited that she was finally getting what she wanted; what she deserved.

She watched for places to stop, in case he missed them, but the only one they passed off the highway was blocked off. Still, she watched out the window anticipating the perfect one.

“Uh oh…” she heard him sigh in aggravation, pulling her from her perfect moment. She whipped around and met his gaze on the touch screen where his navigation feature had been disabled. She swallowed hard and feared the worst already. Don’t do this… not now.

Desperate not to lose their night of fun, she made a joke.

“Well, it’s not an adventure if we don’t get lost.” He didn’t laugh. She started to worry. “You have your phone. We can use that to get back.” He only grunted as he continued to fidget with the screen. Not only was she sure it was over, but her car anxiety started to kick in as well. She sighed it off and suggested they pull over. He reluctantly listened, and pulled his car into a nearby gas station. They sat there for twenty minutes while he did anything, and everything to try and make it work. But it was no use. As far as he was concerned, the night was ruined. She occasionally jumped between trying to help, and looking back out the window. She knew she couldn’t be useful when he got to this point. All she could do was wait.

“Well I give up. I can’t figure it out,” he said still fidgeting. “Let’s just go.” He moved the car in drive and looked over at her. She nodded, and perked up.

“We could go back to that spot we passed by on the way here and…” she started but she could already see it on his face.

“I meant go home.” He mumbled. Her smile disappeared completely. It had happened a hundred times, but it hurt all the same. Maybe this time because she actually thought she had a chance to change his mind. She felt the shards of the wall build their way back up, and she faked a smile.

“Okay. Let’s go home.” She trailed off and sat back in her seat, her eyes fixed on the window. So close… they jumped back on the highway and she let her mind do its wandering until she could think straight and convince herself there was always next time. She looked once at him, seemingly unaffected by the whole thing and looked back out the window. Her eyes followed the trees passing by like a dark green blur past her reality. Then her eyes went up. She swallowed the last of her sanity when she noticed that the stars had almost completely vanished. She leaned a little further out the window, unwilling to accept the turn of events, but they were gone. She sat back and analyzed the world around her. Him, the road, the sky. Softly she whispered,

“There’s always next time.”

-Jackie Marie