PENNY FOR YOUR SILENCE

Greetings from Salem, CT!

I’m taking refuge at my father’s house for the weekend for two reasons: Being at home in Vernon has been a little too much for me, and we’re heading to Block Island tomorrow.

Anyways, before I disappear into some time for myself, I wanted to talk a little about the idea of something relevant, and very important: boundaries. I don’t mean the coping mechanism of “building walls around you with other people”.

Instead, think of boundaries as another term for respect. They affect every aspect of your life: work, love, friends, school, etc. No matter what you experience, learning to create proper boundaries around you not only builds self-respect, but encourages the idea of respect around you as well. We attract what we are. I.e. the Law of Attraction.

I’ve previously lived with the feeling that no matter what I try, I’ll be doomed to a life of feeling inadequate, and out of control. I think i’ve been searching for that flip switch since SCAD fell far off the table last spring. But instead of dealing with it, I gave up on the idea of school completely and it took me until now to heal from that because I let everyone else take the reigns of my choices when I didn’t respect myself enough to do it. Did it make anything better? No! Giving up never does. It only got better when I learned to trust myself again, and gave myself what I deserved. In this case, I signed up for one class I really enjoyed, and I’m going to slowly get back into the roll of it, at my pace.

For perspective’s sake, let’s say I never took the reins back. Let’s say I started hairdressing school like my parents wanted and never chased my dreams as an artist. Where would that get me? I’ll tell you: a nine to five doing the opposite of what I love. I certainly wouldn’t be here talking to you. There would be no blog. There would be no mindfulness. I mean, how could I preach it if I don’t follow it? Don’t get me wrong, that lifestyle works for some, but it wasn’t my calling, and I knew that. But I spent an entire year I could have been pursuing something great, being resentful of what I could not change.

At the time that I felt I lost control, what I didn’t realize was that cultivating that thought caused me to surround myself with people that would much rather try to control what I do, and say, than support my unique ideas. It wasn’t too hard then to realize that the problem was that I had given up on the idea that I deserved to be listened to.

But I do, and so do you.

We all have something to offer to ourselves, and society by speaking up. I’m not here to tell you what to do, but I am asking you to give your heart a listen and ask yourself what’s more important: Their opinions of a happiness you fake to impress, or your actual happiness!

If you want to go out, do it.

If you want to stay in, do it. (Don’t let alone tell you that “doing nothing”, is doing nothing if it benefits you mentally. Mental health is just as important as physical health!!!)

If you want to work out do it.

If you want to hold hands with a guy, or a girl, do it. (And invite me to the wedding)

If you want to make the first move, do it.

If you want to change your hair, or your clothes, or your gender, do it.

I am not only telling you that you can, but you should because if you don’t give yourself the permission to do what your heart is telling you and listen to what other’s tell you instead, you’ll burn out and you’ll only have yourself to blame when you’ve missed out on what you could have said, or could have done. I’ve seen first hand a lot of people I care about give into the sad, empty life of a life they left up to someone else to figure out for them. I can tell you that it only leaves you with regret, some sort of a toxic crutch, and not a whole lot of room for happiness. At the end of the day you’re all you have and a true you, is a you worth protecting. So speak up, and stand by your opinions a little at a time. No matter what anyone says, you should be proud that you at least had the strength to be different. After all, you can spend your whole life listening to others, but you’ll never find out how you fit into this world by living in someone else’s shoes. Use your voice, and make it strong.

You have one for a reason.

For me, despite whatever work hits backorder for the time being, I am taking the weekend to rejuvenate my soul and be productive at restoring my mental health.

So whether you’re lounging by the pool, hitting the grind, or taking some time to heal with me, I wish you a happy, and healthy heart, mind, and soul my friends.

Many blessings,

​Jackie Marie xoxo